SCHOOL JOKES SMS COLLECTIONS
TEACHER – What are
the people of
Turkey called.?
PAPPU – I don’t know. TEACHER – They are
called Turks.
Tell me What are people
of Germany called.?
PAPPU- Germs
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
A kid gets zero in a paper
Father angrily asks,
“Wats this?”
Kid : Teacher dint have more stars to give, so she started giving MOONS..
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School!
TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !
LKG Boy on Phone : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today
Teacher : Who is on the line ?
Boy : This is my father speaking..
Why did Ravi take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level.
Who should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
Teacher : Isaac Newton
was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity.
Student : Right. Had he
sat in the Class, he
wouldn’t have discovered anything.
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
TEACHER – Can you Tell
me 2 creatures which
Do Not have Teeth.
PAPPU – I’ll tell ma’am. Teacher – Good. Tell me.Pappu – Grandma and Grandpa. . .
Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
TEACHER – Pappu,
You Missed School yesterday, Didn’t You.?
PAPPU – No, Not a bit Ma’am.!!
TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time.”
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his hand.”
Where was the Declaration of Independance signed ?
At the bottom !
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is
exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
Teacher : Your son
is Very Good but
spends Too much time Thinking about Girls.
Mother : If you find
a solution, please advise.
His Father has
the Same Problem.
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Math’s Teacher: If you have
12 Chocolates and you
-
-
Give 5 to
Lela,
3 to Anita and
4 to Julia
-
-
Then what will u get????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
My nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD, “is this love?”.
GOD replied, “no dear, result is near
A sleeping lion
is stronger
than a
barking dog.
so a
sleeping
student
is better
than a
barking teacher.
TEACHER – Draw a
Diagram of bacteria
Sunny – Here it is sir TEACHER – Where.?
You haven’t drawn
anything.
Sunny – Sir Can You
See bacteria without
Microscope.?
GEOGRAPHY TEACHER -
If it were possible for me
to make a hole in India
right through the earth, were would it come out.? PAPPU – At the other end, Sir.
BIOLOGY TEACHER -
Define a Practical Nurse.? PAPPU – A Practical Nurse
is one who
Marries a Rich Patient.
CHEMISTRY TEACHER -
What happens to Gold
when it is exposed to air.? PAPPU – It is probably
Stolen.!
PHYSICS TEACHER -
Now as you all know
the Law of Gravity
explains why we
Stay on Earth.
PAPPU – But Where
did people stay
Before the law
was passed.?
Teacher : Are you
Good at Math.?
Pupil : Yes and No.
Teacher : What do
you mean.?
Pupil : Yes, I’m
No Good at Math.!
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER – Your
Chemistry exercise
was bad, I told you
to write it 20 times.
You’ve written it
only 10 times.
PAPPU – Is it ma’am.?
Guess My Maths
is also Bad.!
RAJU – Did you
Hear Raghu Snoring
during the morning
School Prayer.?
RAGHU – Yes, he was the
one who Woke me up.!
TEACHER – Where is
The English Channel.? PAPPU – I don’t know.
Our TV Channel picks up
Only Local channels.
TEACHER – Why were you gossiping around during
my lecture.
PAPPU – It’s impossible,
how do you expect me
to sleep and talk at
the same time.?
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