MISLEADING SMS COLLECTIONS
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
Someday u may lose ur hair. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind. But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks. coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!
Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u. i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me... but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!
He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO
Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
come here. take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed
Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!
Girl: What do you like in me?
Boy: That 2 white balls having black dots in it.
Girt: Rascal you are with me for that?
Boy: Yes I like your eyes…..!
Women are basically greedy.
They want all things from one man.
Men are so simple.
They want only one thing from all women.
MBBS Final Exam:-
Question: Fill in the blanks.
If a lady faints, we must 1st check her PU_S_
Only few intelligent students wrote PULSE
One American in Rome,
Drinking beer at street cafe
when a pretty girl sat beside him.
American: Hello, do you understand English?
Girl: only little.
American: How much?
Girl: Fifty dollars.
Catch her by her waist
Bring her home
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put your lips on her lips
& have a
Nice Drink
“COCA COLA”
Buurrrrrrrrrr….
Put your hand on my hand
&
hold my back with your other hand
touch your lip with my lips
&
taste how hot I am
do this everyday
don’t b confuse I am you tea cup.
Son kills butterfly, Dad says no butter for 2 weeks.
Son kills honeybee, Dad says no honey for 2 weeks.
Mom kills cockroach, Son says, Dad will you tell her or should I??
On a ship Captain Blackmails a girl
“If u dont sleep wd me I’ll sink d ship”
Later,She sms hr husbnd
“U mst b proud of me,
I saved 600 pasngrs 9 times in 2 days!
What’s an average 6 inch long.?. . . .
inside a boy’s pants and girl love to blow it up?
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A 1000 rupee currency note!
Always think positive.
Long ago, Men who sacrificed their
love, youth, parents, identity,
laughter and their happines
were called SAINTS!
Now they are called HUSBANDS!
Man 1: I do not want to marry.
Because I am afraid of all women.
Man 2: Get marry soon.
Then you will be afraid of
only one woman and start loving the rest
Teacher asks Girl:
Which part of Human body
Expands 10 times its normal size..?
Girl: I can’t answer this question
I feel shy…!
Teacher asks same question to a boy.
Boy replies: Its the Pupil of Human Eye.
Teacher: Right!
Then turns to the girl:
Listen girl your thinking is wrong
and your expectations are too high.
Some random facts.
1. An elephant shits half its weight in two days.
2. A man’s penis is 3 times the length of his thumb.
3. 2 multiplied by 2 equals 4.
4. the final fact:
A woman would have finished reading
these facts by now,
but a man would still be checking the size of his thumbs.
Wife to husband:
why are you walking around naked.?
Neighbors can see your things.
Husband: So what..!
Wife: They will think I married you for money.
A man with 8 children
traveling by train.
A lady asked: are they your children.
Man: No Madam!
Actually I am the owner of a condom company
and
they are the complaints of my customers.
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