NAUGHTY SMS COLLECTIONS
A couple had a fight one night.
When they were going to bed,
Husband Taunted:
“Good night mother of 3 kids”.
Wife Replied:
“Good night Father of none”
Five rules of girls
1: Love me but don’t touch me
2: Touch me but don’t kiss me
3: Kiss me but don’t use me
4: Use me but don’t forget me
5: Forget me but don’t tell to anyone!
Management Lesson
You spent 100% income on your wife and get 10% satisfaction.
on the other hand
You spent 10% income on your girlfriend and get 100% satisfaction.
your money, your decision.
Mallika's T-shirt had a picture of a CAR MIRROR on it. Guess,what was written on it..Objects behind d mirror r larger than they appear
A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.
Girl: If you get a chance,
will you marry me.?
Boy: If I get chance,
why would I marry.
He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left...
I was hurt...
F***IN MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind
Define, Biology and sociology?
.
.
.
If new born baby looks like his father it is biology,
if he looks like his neighbor than it is called sociology
Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
Mom: Why are you pregnant?
Daughter: This is our project in college about “Miracle of Life”
Mom: Tell me who is he?
Daughter:I don’t know, it was a group project
When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!
What’s the geographical definition of love?
It’s an action done by Pol-land
into Hol-land between Thai-land,
occasionally with a little help from Greece!
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
Buy a scooty,
pick a beauty,
drink a frooty,
take her to ooty,
remove her nighty,
do ur duty,
after 9 month get a cuty
Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.
Tragedy of man’s life
Nice men are ugly,
good looking men are not nice,
good lookin nice men are married,
good lookin nice unmarried men are gay
One Boy To Another,
What Did You Do On Mother’s Day?
2nd Boy,
I Tried To Help Few Girls To Become A Mother
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)
Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally
That’s why boys go to college regularlyv
A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.
In order to get 100/100 in life,
a man requires 100% talent,
whereas a woman requires only 4% talent
& the remaining is only 36-24-36
A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
Similarities of BRA & BAR.
1)Both have same alphabets.
2)Both are drinking zone.
3)Both have restricted time of opening & closing.
4)when both are opened men go crazy.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!
Son – I want a baby brother .
Mom – your dad is overseas.
When he comes back we will talk over it.
Son – why don’t you give him a surprise
A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,
When her friends asked her what happened?
She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
“I thought It was MONEY”
A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
Teacher: What is the difference between
Call Girl, Girlfriend and Wife.??
Student: replied
Prepaid, Postpaid, Unlimited.
A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.
A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like.
Mama dog said: Your dad came from behind,
I do not have the chance to see his face carefully!”
There is only one perfect child
in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife
in the world and every neighbour has it.
One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin
colleague asked: What happened?
She replied: He asked me are you free tonight?
I said-yes & bastard give me 50 pages of work.
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."
Boy: I like the soft thing behind your braiz.
Girl: what?
Boy: your heart.
Girl: I love the big thing between your two legs.
Boy: what?
Girl: your bike..;-)
Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
Difference between Problem , Talent and Kismat
Two boys love one girl = PROBLEM!
One boy love two girls = TALENT!
Two girls love one boy = Qismat!
A man was lost alone on an island.
One day he decide to build a wooden boat.
Suddenly a girl comes and
man used the wood for making bed.
Moral: A girl can change your aim! ;p
In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.
He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"
Dr: Mrs. Parveen, good news for you.
Girl : What do you mean by Mrs. Parveen ?
I am Miss. Parveen
Dr: Oh . !! sorry Miss. Parveen, Bad news for you. . !!
When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...
VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.
YOU! I TRUSTED YOU SO MUCH &
YOUR BIG MOUTH IS NEVER SHUT!
WHY DID YOU TELL OTHERS MY SECRET?
YOU REALLY DISAPPOINTED ME!
PLEASE STOP TELLING EVERYBODY THAT I M SO CUTE
Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.
Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.
In a Hospital two Nurses were discussing
about the New Doctor..
1st Nurse: He Dresses very well.
2nd Nurse: And very Quickly too;->
Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.
An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!
Boy 2 Girl: On which date we should marry?
Girl: 22 December!
Boy: Any special about it?
Girl: It is the longest night of the year.
Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!
Colour of underwear reflects your mood:
Red - Wild,
Black - Sexy,
Blue - Romantic,
Pink - Seductive
White - Calm,
Yellow - time to change your undrewear!
Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women
A: magnets have a positive side
Medical Science Says:
“Tight Clothing Slows Blood Circulation”
But the Truth is..
“Tighter The Woman’s Clothing,
Faster The Circulation Of MAN’s Bl0od” ;->
Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!
Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.
Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".
In school canteen,
there was a basket of apples with a written note:
“don’t take more than 1, God is watching!”
A little further there was a box of choclates,
a naughty child wrote:
“Take as many as u want. God is watching the apples”
Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.
It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.
Father to son:
If You don’t pass your Exams this time
Dont call me DAD,
After some days……..
Father:How is your result?
Son:Sorry Bashir Saab.
Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.
A notice in a factory for girl workers.
“If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
If it is short, protect yourself from men at work”
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