MARRIAGE SMS COLLECTIONS
A couple had a fight one night
Going to bed Husband says:
Good night mother of my 3 kids.
Wife Replied: Good night father of none.
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Don't marry the person you want to live with...
Marry the one you cannnot live without...
But whatever you do, you will regret it later..
A Diplomatic Husband 2 Wife:
"Hw do U expect Me 2Remembr
Ur Birthday Wn U Nvr Look any Older"
Wife: where ‘ll you take me on our 10th anniversary?
Husband: We’ll go to African jungle safari.
Wife: Nice. And on our 25th anniversary?
Husband: I’ll bring you back.
Wife to Husband :
“You spent
6 nights creating a
45 minute Powerpoint
to explain Why You
Don’t have 5 minutes
to Clean out the Litter Box.?”
Santa bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this,
I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it`s true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Q: Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
A: It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Y a man carrzy his wife's photo in d wallet?
COZ whenever he faces trouble, sees d photo & thinks-If I can handle THIS i can handle anything!
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
For the fools marraige are burden.Marraige is the happy begining of 3rd phase of life.It is to share responsibility,having ligal relations in society.Married life becomes happy when u see the smile on ur childs face!
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "Dad! I've found a woman just like mother"
His father replied, "So what do you want? sympathy?"
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..
True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.
Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
A Tiger was giving wedding party to his frnds..
A Cat came there and danced.
Tiger asked who r u ?
Cat said: I was also a Tiger before my marriage.......
Why do Indian women want same husband in next life too??
.
.
Bcoz
.
.
Efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not b wasted!! ;-)
Wife: Last night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewelry and clothes! Husband: yeah, and I saw your dad paying the bill! Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them. Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If u find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
Angry Husband sends SMS to Father-in-law : Your Product not matching my requirements.
Smart Father-in-Law : "Warranty Expired..Manufacture not Responsible."
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!’ I gifted her
a weighing scale
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest
and please so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!
Women Marry Because They Believe That He Will Change One Day . . . . .
Men Marry Because They Believe That She Will Never Change . . . .
Both Are Mistaken
My Advice To You Is To Get Married. If You Find A Good Wife You Will Be Happy; If Not You Will Become A Philosopher.
''MARRIAGE''
Is Nature's Way
Of Preventing
''PEOPLE''
From Fighting With
''STRANGERS'' ... ;->
Secret of Happy Marriage - ACCEPT -
Attraction,
Communication,
Commitment,
Enjoyment,
Purpose,
Trust.
Follow these and dat home of urs will be heaven.
Love is one long sweet dream,
and marriage is the alarm clock
philosophy Of Life :
? At The Beginning Of Married Life, Every Girl Treats Her Husband As god,
Later On Somehow That Alphabets Got Reversed . . !
Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!
A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?”
“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”
What a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding, she doesn’t Trust me & I dont Understand her.
Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.
First marriage is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the
triumph of hope over experience
Grooms, once you marry,
please remember that when
you have a discussion
with your future wife,
always try to get the
last two words in: “Yes dear”
Brain is very important part of body,
It is active 24 hours
.
.
365 days,
.
.
it starts working, when you born
and work till you
.
.
.
.
Get Married…
The Equation of Marriage:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems.
So beware of glance!
Marriage is like going to
a restaurant your choice
from the menu,
And
then look at neighbourin
table n wish you”d ordered that…..
Some people ask the secret
of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
“When a man holds a woman hands?”
When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
One day a man inserted
an ‘advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered
Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married man
Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.
Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Marriage is very important part of life.
You know why?
?
?
?
?
?
Because
“Life is not only about happiness”
Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution,
you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same Mistake.
Behind every Successful man
there is a satisfied woman.
But behind every satisfied woman.
there is an exausted man.
Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not [...]
Man asked to his wife:
Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
She said: Some where I have never been!
Man said: How about the kitchen?
Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?
Answer: The days after marriage!
Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.
Evolution of Man:
Without Marriage “Spider Man”
On Marriage Day “Super Man”
After Marriage “Gentle Man”
If wife is beautiful then rest of life
.
.
.
.
“Watch Man”
Wife: You changed after marriage.
Husband: I’ve told you that
“I am not interested in Married womans”
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Can a woman make you a millionaire?
.
.
.
Yes! If you are a Billionaire..!!
A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
Man 1: I do not want to marry.
Because I am afraid of all women.
Man 2: Get marry soon.
Then you will be afraid of
only one woman and start loving the rest
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
What is the height of mixed emotion?
Your mother-in-law falls from the
7th floor on your brand new Mecedes
and you don’t know whether to laught or cry..!
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.
Wife to husband:
why are you walking around naked.?
Neighbors can see your things.
Husband: So what..!
Wife: They will think I married you for money.
Angel said: I can’t be everywhere to help you.
So I created Mother.
Devil Replied: Me to can’t be everywhere.
So I created Mother-In-Law.
Marriage Advice
Whenever you are wrong admit it
Whenever you are right shut up
Most successful
Happy married life is
Defined as.
.
.
.
Yet to be seen.
A Couple Before Marriage
"MAD" For Each Other ...
After Marriage
"MADE" For Each Other ...
And
A Few Years Later
"MAD" Because Of Each Other.
Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
Best way to purpose a girl.
Take her to sea,
Say her to sit in a boat.
Then take the boat in the middle of sea.
Then say Marry Me
or
Leave My Boat.
A man walking down a street heard a voice.
“if you take 1 more step,
a brick will fall down and kill you.
He stopped & a brick fell before him.
He went on,
while crossing road he heard again stop,
just a car missed him.
Man asked who are you?
I am your guardian angel”
Man said, Where were you when I got [...]
There are many brave men
who are adventurous and
are never afraid to fight.
Some join army,
others get married … ;-
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